Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Breaking Weather News
Noted Weather Rodent Jimmy the Goundhog (seen above in an undated picture) came out of his burrow today and DID NOT see his shadow. In a prepared statement, Jimmy declared an early end to winter and a quick transition to spring. Reporters gathered around the furry prognosticator to ask how this forecast jibed with Jimmy's long time disdain for the concept of Global Warming. Before he could answer, a large Redtailed Hawk swept down, grabbing Jimmy in his talons. The hawk had been seen earlier on a lamppost near Hwy 151.
Reporters attempted to contact the hawk but were told that he was at lunch and had no comment.
Mr. Groundhog is survived by his son, Jimmy Jr. When asked by reporters whether he wold continue in the family business, Jimmy Jr answered "Hell no, I'm moving to Florida."
No funeral is planned at this time due to lack of remains but friends say there will be a memorial service to be announced at a later date.